Thursday, July 20, 2006

It's A Two-Handed World

This afternoon, as I packed up my gear to leave work, I had a revelation: most things require two functioning hands to complete.

For instance, the simple act of putting on lip gloss. What? You fish it out of your purse, take the cap off and squeeze, applying a dollop to the lips. But what happens if, sometime during that day, your frickin' right arm down to your tingling little fingers decides to go on strike? It was almost as amusing as it was frustrating to unscrew the cap with the thumb and forefinger of one hand, then attempt to coax a bit of the dewey coating up to the top of the applicator with that same thumb and forefinger. No luck.

Resigned to dry lips, I automatically try reaching for the cap to screw it back on with my noodle of a hand. Feh! With tube clutched in the palm of my left hand, I use the same thumb-forefinger action to engage the screw cap threads, then slowly reverse the motion to secure the top in place.

As luck would have it, the skies opened up today with a torrent of rain, leaving me with a wet umbrella. No problem, says I. I'll just pull the protective sleeve over the brolly and stick it in my bag. Tee-hee. Not only did replacing the cover take twice as long, I looked like a one-armed hooker trying to slip on the umbrella's party hat! Putting on the protective cover first meant placing the fitted sleeve at the tip of the umbrella, then pulling it up with one hand as the umbrella sat propped up against my mid-section. Think of the view from my perspective.

And I thought I was adapting to this sometimey arm by learning to mouse and type with my left hand. If only I could use the power of my mind to simply will the completion of my knitting in progress (8.5 inches of my Mom's sweater and 6.5 inches of a sproingy merino wool wrap)! Try as I might, staring at it with the intensity of an angry cat does not make the needles fly. At my current pace of (at most) one row at a time, I may finish next year!

As I said, it's a two-handed world. So how did I type this? Very slowly.


Blogger noblinknits said...

Oh bless you. I know I shouldn't laught but the one armed hooker bit really got me going. Is it only a temporary problem?

7/21/2006 04:24:00 AM  
Blogger Bonne Marie said...

I am sending you the biggest warmest VIBE for that arm - oh my dear - I adore the fact that in the face of your tribulation, you still pause to pay homage to the Goddess LipGloss...

7/21/2006 06:25:00 AM  
Anonymous jess said...

rsi issues? doh.

you made me laugh with the hooker comment however, I really do hope the numbness goes away!

7/21/2006 08:50:00 AM  
Blogger janna said...

My, what a big umbrella you have! ;-) But what happened? Something carpal tunnelish? Hope it goes away soon!

7/22/2006 12:59:00 PM  

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